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I just want to make fun of you

October 3, 2012

A few days back, I came across a post on Uproxx titled “This Wedding Video Will Make You Hate Love” which, let’s face it, is a pretty enticing headline. I watched the video, titled “Wedding Video!!!” and I was speechless.  It was a love song, “I just want to ride bikes with you”, by a rather exuberant bride to her groom for their wedding reception. It was, to say the least, a sickeningly sweet, sappy, poorly written, cheese-laden act of hilarity, albeit a well-intentioned one.  In fact, I watched a second time, trying to determine if it was legitimate or a comedy song for some YouTube channel.

“I just want to vomit with you…”

I immediately posted to my Tumblr, where I tend to put blurbs that are too long for Twitter, but not long enough for a full fledged blog post.  Soon after, I began to notice that the video was everywhere.

And countless other sites. In fact, as usual, I was late to party by three days. But still, I needed others to share in my pain, so I posted anyway. And to top things off, the damn song is still stuck in my fucking head. Move over, Rebecca Black! There’s a new sheriff in town!

So, why am I writing about this now?  Well, yesterday I came across this post on TheJaneDough.com: “Lay Off ‘I Just Want To Ride Bikes With You’ Woman.”  I’ve never been to the site before, so I have nothing against them, their opinions, or whatever it is they do on the site.  But I do take issue with the slant of the post, where the author wrote:

The music video has already made the rounds online, and while it’s definitely corny and annoying, nothing warrants the backlash the lady who created the video has received.

Really? Did you watch the video all the way through? Corny and annoying don’t begin to cover it.  However, had she stopped there, I would have been fine.  But, she went on to say:

… I don’t see a need to trash the bride for doing something nice for the person she married. Emily McCombs of xoJane.com recently pointed out that women are often smeared for openly celebrating engagements and pregnancies, and nobody should have to tone down their elation to please people who may not be as happy with their own lives.

The lyrics in this video are lame, but the woman played it at her nuptials. Why we should care how she decides to spend the biggest day of her life is beyond me.

Whoa… hold on a second.  Let me address this point by point:

  1.  I don’t see a need to trash the bride… – It’s not a need. It’s a right. Whether it’s people posting things online, a politicians latest batch of commercials, the performance of our favorite sports team, or the clothes people wear on Oscar night, we have every right to express our opinions on said activity.  Even the assholes, whose “opinions” consist of degrading, obscene, thoughtless drivel have that right.  The internet just makes it easier to do, particularly for the assholes. Is it right to be hateful and mean, to purposely try to be hurtful with words? Of course. That’s what make them an asshole. But, they have every right to. And that’s what makes us AMERICA!  (Insert favorite patriotic song here. It doesn’t matter which one. They are all just as sappy and sickening as the bike song. Yeah. I just said that. Because I can! AMERICA!)
  2. …women are often smeared for openly celebrating engagements and pregnancies… – Are they? Where is this? On the dozens of wedding related reality shows on TV? On the countless bridal magazines on the newsstand? On the celebratory displays of nuptial bliss presented by the media with their coverage of celebrity and royal weddings?  Granted, I am not a woman celebrating any of these things and getting “smeared.” And granted, there may be folks shouting at their televisions at this “entertainment” or “celebration” but I don’t think that counts. Tree in the forest, and all.  Are they referring to online celebrations? If so, I refer you back to point number 1.  Woman have real issues to put up with and obstacles to overcome in this world, but I would hazard to say, this is bottom of the list.
  3.  …nobody should have to tone down their elation to please people… – You are correct! However, the inverse is also true: you should not have to tone down your criticism of others to make people happy.  Now, most people will take the time to phrase their criticism carefully, trying to be constructive, in the hope that something may be learned from it. But, not everyone. No, some just get online and post “Your video is shit. You are shit. Die.”  Those people are the aforementioned assholes.  Is it a type of bullying? Sure, if you’re twelve years old. But, if you’re a grown ass person, you should be able to deal with assholes effectively and maturely or have your “Grown Ass Person” card revoked.
  4.  …the woman played it at her nuptials. Why we should care… – Let us not forget, she posted the video online in a public forum (YouTube), and had, according to one source, sent a tweet directed to the Huffington Post wedding section to advertise said video post.  It was not just at her nuptials. It was now broadcast for all to see and advertised for views. People don’t care about her nuptials, but they do care about some damn good entertainment. And this was definitely that. Or not, depending on your opinion .

The point is this: the Internet is a public place. It’s not like when a cell gets hacked and your naked pics get taken and posted. This is an active participation in the beast that is the World Wide Web, and unlike the people at your wedding reception, the people occupying this web do not have to pretend to like you. If you post something publicly, you invite both praise and criticism.  If you do not want those things, learn a little bit about the technology before using it, and find a private way to share with those whom you know will love you regardless of your level of suck.  Otherwise, grow a pair and take the bad with the good*. There are assholes, lots of them, but there are also people out there intrigued by your display, even inspired.  Take it all in stride. Recognize asshole as such and deal with them only when it’s worth the effort, and be gracious the people that offer praise.

And as a poster of comments, as well as a creator of things, I want to says “Screw you” to anyone that challenges my right to hate things as fervently as I like others.  If something is shit,  I’m going to say “I do not like this!” and if it is awesome, I respond in kind with an “this I like.” And if you or I, or anyone else, put material out for the public, we should expect the same, as well as the inevitable “Your video is shit. You are shit. Die.” multi-layered critiques. If you do not, you’re naive, delusional, or an idiot.

I say all three. Because I am allowed to.

*NOTE:  I feel it only right to point out at this “grow a pair” juncture that, yes, I do post semi-anonymously. However, I do so not out of fear of the opinions of others, but rather to protect my employer and family from the level of idiocy and dickness I sometimes post.  But, I do not shy away from critical comments or posts in my direction. In fact, I am usually the first to say things like “my blog sucks as a blog” and “my podcast needs something, like less me,” or “my tweets are fucking stupid most of the time.”  So, bring it Internets.

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